Isaiah 58:6-14 GNTD
“The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free. Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives. “Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side. When you pray, I will answer you. When you call to me, I will respond. “If you put an end to oppression, to every gesture of contempt, and to every evil word; if you give food to the hungry and satisfy those who are in need, then the darkness around you will turn to the brightness of noon. And I will always guide you and satisfy you with good things. I will keep you strong and well. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a spring of water that never goes dry. Your people will rebuild what has long been in ruins, building again on the old foundations. You will be known as the people who rebuilt the walls, who restored the ruined houses.” The Lord says, “If you treat the Sabbath as sacred and do not pursue your own interests on that day; if you value my holy day and honor it by not traveling, working, or talking idly on that day, then you will find the joy that comes from serving me. I will make you honored all over the world, and you will enjoy the land I gave to your ancestor, Jacob. I, the Lord, have spoken.”” —Isaiah 58:6-14 GNTD
havent felt like myself today, then this song came on the radio- its way too obscure to be played mainstream. So weird, this is one of my favorite songs going back ten years. Even before i went awol for God. I just had to look up who Gabriel was. I’ve been asking all week if what im hearing is from you God, if the signs are real or if they’re being made up in my imagination. I think im going to call this confirmation.
I’m not going to runaway into my safe place right now. I’m going to believe I’m not vulnerable and I’m not stark and open for attacks.
I hope no one i know reads these entries, because these are as raw as fuck. Truth, Letters, Prayers to God.
I knew it was not your will. I’m sorry I’ve broken your heart and stepped away from your promise and your path. I may not see it how you see it, but i know the fundamental belief that your will and plan for my life is perfect, that timing in your hands is perfect.
I haven’t given you just one promise. I’ve given you a spiders web full of treasures. Your dreams and promises are stuck, there is no way they will runaway from me or my hand at work.
Why then, have you let him meet someone in the interim, and me? alone.
Because i told you, you need to soften the soil. You need to prepare the way. The journey right now is making you feel lonely right now. It needs to be. you need to rebuild, stand alone in Christ. Tell me why you havent taken down your dream boards?
Because i want the thought that maybe I have enough belief to see every single one of those promises come true. I want to be able to say, these are my promises from God, and look I’ve ticked them off, because i believed in the most high God when he pulled me in and validated me again and gave me a bunch of presents from the future. I don’t take them down, because there is an interlocking within every dream. I don’t think i can do one without another. i don’t know, maybe im crazy. God, I’m worn out from love. I don’t want to feel like i have to keep searching to be apart of someone elses life. I’m seriously over trying to bond. I’m barely surviving by myself. Just help me get my life sorted God. I have bills coming out my butt. I need you to hide me.
I refuse to accept im a bad person that is to be blamed for this conflict. Im not a bad person. Im exhausted from this fight! Come to my aid prince of peace!
Please be with this family. Be with us n give us peace. Take me away from here. Amen.
Aherm. Im 30.
The spirit of Jonathan. To facilitate, orchestrate, dissipate. To advise, bring up, edify, encourage, lead, knit together, lift up, ease, push, hear God, listen, confirm, disarm. To be reflective, to be real, to be in control, to teach, comfort, bring up leaders, charge forth, pull together, to be quiet, to speak up, to silence, to be the oil of the engine, to be the tread on the wheel. To watch for the signposts, to signal, to command, to pray like a warrior, to discern, to be the eye of the storm, to shelter, protect, love, sacrifice, lay down.
when everything comes crashing down around you, theres an origin that begins from a different place. a home, no a secret sanctuary- emerges from within. A creative fornication takes hold, delirium creates enough momentum-fuel to transform itself into dreaming again… then you have to take what youve started to embody and transplant it back into rubble. thats where im at. transplanting myself back in. i struggle on most days but so thankful for the patience of people whilst i retreat and return over and over again. really thankyou.